Lately we've been discussing how long to wait before we try to conceive again. I'm 33--no great age, but my mother had her last at 33, so it's on my mind. Because I'll be having a C-section, Julianna has to be able to walk before the next baby comes. At 6 months, when she was sitting up, we were sure that she was going to be close to walking by a year.
And of course, she's not even crawling. In fact, she's not even transitioning into and out of sitting. (Actually, she started this weekend. She had a good developmental weekend.)
So now I wonder if our plans for a baby a year or so from now are too optimistic. And in my fears, I also realize that I'm harboring deep fear, insecurity and guilt. I am the primary "therapist" in the family, and I feel like I don't do enough work with her. So I think it's my fault that she's not developing more quickly.
This entry is not coming together well, so I think I'll err on the short side. A wonderful man at church this morning told me that God would provide. And he can say that, because he has a child with DS who is 1 year and 2 weeks older than her younger sister.
Easy to view from the outside--now that both of his kids are grown.
Harder to imagine trying to live through.
No comments:
Post a Comment